Alone; again.

Tonight I went for a walk with my mum.
Yesterday I got a friend a job.
One week ago, I lost my best friend.

Maybe its been happening for a while and i never noticed, maybe he never really was my best friend. We went for a walk, just for the hell of it, he showed me places, beautiful places, it amazed me, they were so perfect and hidden, we walked for a while, a long while, just talking, about nothing really, but thats most of our conversations, there all about nothing. He left me to walk home by myself, its not a long walk, you can't even get lost, but he left me. I didn't like it, i didn't want to go by myself, I wanted him to stay with me, but i didn't say anything I let him go for his "smoko" just like always. Subconsciously i made a decision that day, he wasn't really my best friend at all, it was just a claim, no fact, two days ago, the decision became a reality. i started pulling away without even realising, i don't know if he's noticed we haven't spoken. i've taken down pretty much everything to do with him, and put it away. Maybe a 19 year old best friend wasn't my best idea.
Tonight I went for a walk with mum, we were walking along a road, and a line of cars went past, mum was walking behind me, and I wondered what'd she'd do if I jumped out in front of one, then I wondered who would be at my bedside if I survived.

MyHeartsInFlames.x3